A friend sent this to me a month or so ago… and I’m just now getting around to sharing.  I’ve added my commentary.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.  This doesn’t happen.  I’m never wrong… right, honey? RIGHT!?
   
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.  12 hour days blow… please give me a little carpet square in a classroom full of 5 year olds and I will show them all what napping is about.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.  See my comment on number 2.  Case and point.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  I do know how to do this thanks to that sweet part-time job I had back in high school.
   
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the Person died.  Or maybe we could just post them on Facebook.  I’m pretty good at stalking and could probably go all CSI on it.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.  and if your story doesn’t involve a bad decision… i’m probably not listening.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.  Ahh.  Sometimes I miss my old job, the whole day would be pretty much like that.
    
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. 
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever. 
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? D@mn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.  I hate wasting my good outfits.
    
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.  Dirty Dancing anybody?!  Penny hiding out in the kitchen.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.  Yep… I thought this was just a Chicago thing because I had to walk blocks and blocks, but I still do this in Roanoke and I have a car.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? and whorier and whorier. It makes me want to re-think this whole children thing or at least invest in a couple of chastity belts.
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  What’s a watch?  I haven’t worn one of those for years… try a cell phone.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my rear end everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!