With all this snow we’ve been having I feel like i’ve been seeing and hearing a lot more from my neighbors. The other night as I lied awake listening to the sound of Ryan’s snoring and decompressing after a long day, I was startled to hear my neighbor next door. It sounded like she was being beaten. I wondered if she was okay, if maybe she needed help. After listening for few more minutes I realized she wasn’t being beaten… well not in a domestic dispute kind of way… more like in a… spank me kind of way. I immediately felt like a perv listening, but what else could I do… she was ridiculously loud and dramatic about the whole thing and i’m pretty sure I heard some smacking too. In all the apartments I’ve lived in, I’ve never had this happen to me. Sure, I’ve heard a headboard hit the wall every now and then, but I’ve never heard Jenna Jameson moans coming from my neighbors apartment.
The next morning I told Ryan about Jenna Jameson moving in next door and we had a good laugh… mostly because we’ve talked to this girl before and she seemed so nice and down-to-earth (yes, I know that good girls go bad, but it was just shocking to think of this girl like that). That day at lunch, Ryan decided she must be a teacher because she’s usually home on snow days. So now he calls her “Teacher Screacher”. After lunch, as we were getting off the elevator guess who we ran into? That’s right, “Teacher Screacher” can someone say awkward. It took everything we had not to laugh out loud, so we politely said “hi”, put our heads down and walked away biting our lips… the second we walked in our apartment we started laughing hysterically. How mature!
I’m afraid I’m going to do this every time I see her. I know I need to grow up and not be so immature, but maybe she could tone down the dramatics while she’s getting frisky… lower the volume, a little less smacking action and definitely not as long (10 minutes is a bit much… I think someone is doing some exaggerating). I know I’m not the sex police, but she needs to remember she lives in an apartment complex. Next time I may just go over there and ask her if she needs help because I was worried someone was breaking into her apartment.
Has this ever happened to you? How do you handle living next to someone like this?
